You are responsible for your success - no one else is.

The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you gain the power to change anything in your life. 

To clarify, no, you are not responsible for crimes committed against you if you have been the victim of a crime or abuses.  That is something else entirely.  However, you are responsible for your actions, behaviors, failures, successes and attitudes following anything that has occurred to you.

"I'm unhappy because my mom used to beat me as a kid."

"I'm overweight because I was molested."

"I can't exercise because my husband won't let me take a break from the kids."

Those thoughts are what must change.

As long as we use our past hurts and other people as reasons for our failings or unhappiness, we will never change our behaviors.

If any of these things sound like you, then it is you I am speaking to: It's my husband's fault I am unhappy.  It's my kids' fault I'm unable to exercise.  I gained weight because of my children. I had feelings of insecurity because of a childhood wound... etc..

Those are attitudes we CAN change. 

The moment you accept the responsibility that your success and happiness is up to YOU and no one else, is the moment that change can begin to happen in your life.

Here's how it works...

I've heard many women over the years say they can't exercise because of  their kids. And yet, I've seen women pushing jogging strollers in races!  I danced with my babies in the living room or have done push-ups to kiss my babies faces, or weighted squats holding a child in my arms.  Many gyms and fitness studios offer child care and sometimes for free or free with trade for babysitting services.  Including my favorite little Studio in Hurricane Utah- Phazes Studio.

BUT, it's not MY job or anyone else's to find your solutions for what to do with your kids so you can get the exercise YOU need.

What about your happiness?  Do you blame your unhappiness on someone else? Can you become happy in the situation you are currently in? Or do you need to change your situation?  When you find out that you CAN change anything and develop the inner strength to do so, it is an amazing self-discovery.  Developing inner strength is the same as creating outer or physical strength, it is something that starts weak and can be exercised to increase in your ability to do the things you need to do for your own happiness, success and health regardless of your living circumstances or past hurts.  

One of my favorite daily affirmations I read every single morning is this "The moment I take responsibility for everything in my life is the moment I gain the power to change anything in my life!"

And I am.  And I feel powerful.

I feel powerful when I decide to make changes regardless of life circumstances.  Life is busy.  My family is demanding.  I have a crazy schedule with my 2 businesses.  All those things could get in the way of me reaching my physical goals or taking time doing what matters most.  Today my husband and I went to a 30 minute HIIT class together. Usually we don't do that.  But today I asked for what I wanted.  I wanted to spend time with him.  I want to be healthy. And I needed a quick workout that pushed my limits.  Asking my husband to join me because I love him and want to spend time with him is just one way of being assertive in asking for what you need. 

Don't use excuses anymore.  Make choices and take responsibility for everything in your life.  What choices will you make today?

Try looking at life through the eyes of a person that takes responsibility for everything and see what changes you can make.

 - Michelle

Crazy negative responses to Oprah today...

This image of sheep will make sense if you keep reading.  Because right now, it seems rather silly.
Here are my thoughts today.  I was sitting here enjoying Oprah Winfrey interview Tracey Morgan on her series "Super Soul Sunday:"  I was enjoying Tracey discussing his life experiences and how being in a car accident changed him and his perception on life. I was touched.

I made the mistake of reading other people's comments.
I should have known better.  UGH!  While most people were uplifted and were commenting about the great story and inspiration they were receiving, there were those few... those very few...  who were idiots.  Yes, I am using the word idiots.  I am probably wrong.  I am sure those negative individuals probably just have a different life experience and have no idea what they are saying is so ridiculously wrong.  Let me let you peak into their comments:

"Oprah should interview real people not rich folks who we real people can't relate to."

"Tracey Morgan is just a rich actor, He's not relatable."

"We need to hear from real people."

Etc...

I am sure Oprah or any person who has thousands of viewers is used to the negativity that comes with putting yourself out there for others.  It comes with the territory, I know,  I know.

ANYWAY....
What  I learned from those folks making the negative comments was that if you have a profession that you worked hard at, like Tracey had (apparently those people missed that part of the interview), once you get rich and famous you are no longer human and have nothing to offer the rest of the world of average people still "slumming it".

Uhhhh.....

I'm confused.
OK folks.  Here's the deal, you can choose to learn anything from anyone anywhere of any background, color, social-economic status, gender, nationality,.... uhhhhhh.....

what else?

YOU decide if you can learn or you can shut your mind down because YOU decide if you are unteachable.

Tracey Morgan and I are very different people.  He is a black man, comedian, with a youth history of drugs and alcohol.  I am not.  He's got a lot more money than me and has been divorced.

I am a white woman, Mormon, never touched a drop of alcohol or drugs in my life, only been married once, can't even stand most of Tracey Morgan's comedy, Living in Utah, still rising out of financially rough times.  my life is VERY different from Tracey's.  But I found myself riveted to his story of triumph.  I loved his testimony of God's role in his life.  I found myself learning and growing from what he had to share with the world.

Did you know the thing he is most grateful for in life is... LIFE everyday?

It's a beautiful sentiment.

As I was listening to him and loving what I was gaining, I was reading a few comments about how he was unrelatable.  And yet, there I was finding him very relatable to me.  A white, conservative female in Utah living a lower class lifestyle was finding a Black comedian living an upper-class life after rising out of Drug use and alcohol and a broken marriage....  I found him relatable.  I was learning while a few other closed their minds because they chose not to see the similarities or they chose not to learn because apparently they believe you can only learn from someone who is in your exact shoes.  It's a sad state of mind.

That brings me to the picture of the sheep above.

I am blessed with a very wise mother.  I grew up on a ranch in Wyoming.  My uncle and grandpa raised sheep and cattle.  As we drove down our 2 mile dirt road, we were often stopped by a herd of sheep crossing the road in front of us.  I remember the time my mom took the opportunity to find all the life lessons she could think of while watching the sheep cross in front of us.  "sheep and teenagers are a lot alike...."  she went on with her analogy which I don't really remember.

My mom took opportunities often to teach us metaphors for life from the animals on the ranch or anything she saw in front of her.  I learned from my mom that you can learn any life lesson wherever you choose to look for one.  If I can learn about life from a herd of sheep, surely I can also learn from a man who rose out of rough situations to stardom!  Right?   We look different, we think different, We are very different.  But he has something to offer and I can choose to see it or reject it.

Maybe those negative comments on Oprah video were made by people who have never learned this amazing skill of learning from anywhere. 

I choose to learn.  I learn from everyone I meet.  Life is better when you see everyone as having something valuable to offer the world.

Take that challenge and try it out.  See if things seem better and brighter and more awesome.