You are responsible for your success - no one else is.

The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you gain the power to change anything in your life. 

To clarify, no, you are not responsible for crimes committed against you if you have been the victim of a crime or abuses.  That is something else entirely.  However, you are responsible for your actions, behaviors, failures, successes and attitudes following anything that has occurred to you.

"I'm unhappy because my mom used to beat me as a kid."

"I'm overweight because I was molested."

"I can't exercise because my husband won't let me take a break from the kids."

Those thoughts are what must change.

As long as we use our past hurts and other people as reasons for our failings or unhappiness, we will never change our behaviors.

If any of these things sound like you, then it is you I am speaking to: It's my husband's fault I am unhappy.  It's my kids' fault I'm unable to exercise.  I gained weight because of my children. I had feelings of insecurity because of a childhood wound... etc..

Those are attitudes we CAN change. 

The moment you accept the responsibility that your success and happiness is up to YOU and no one else, is the moment that change can begin to happen in your life.

Here's how it works...

I've heard many women over the years say they can't exercise because of  their kids. And yet, I've seen women pushing jogging strollers in races!  I danced with my babies in the living room or have done push-ups to kiss my babies faces, or weighted squats holding a child in my arms.  Many gyms and fitness studios offer child care and sometimes for free or free with trade for babysitting services.  Including my favorite little Studio in Hurricane Utah- Phazes Studio.

BUT, it's not MY job or anyone else's to find your solutions for what to do with your kids so you can get the exercise YOU need.

What about your happiness?  Do you blame your unhappiness on someone else? Can you become happy in the situation you are currently in? Or do you need to change your situation?  When you find out that you CAN change anything and develop the inner strength to do so, it is an amazing self-discovery.  Developing inner strength is the same as creating outer or physical strength, it is something that starts weak and can be exercised to increase in your ability to do the things you need to do for your own happiness, success and health regardless of your living circumstances or past hurts.  

One of my favorite daily affirmations I read every single morning is this "The moment I take responsibility for everything in my life is the moment I gain the power to change anything in my life!"

And I am.  And I feel powerful.

I feel powerful when I decide to make changes regardless of life circumstances.  Life is busy.  My family is demanding.  I have a crazy schedule with my 2 businesses.  All those things could get in the way of me reaching my physical goals or taking time doing what matters most.  Today my husband and I went to a 30 minute HIIT class together. Usually we don't do that.  But today I asked for what I wanted.  I wanted to spend time with him.  I want to be healthy. And I needed a quick workout that pushed my limits.  Asking my husband to join me because I love him and want to spend time with him is just one way of being assertive in asking for what you need. 

Don't use excuses anymore.  Make choices and take responsibility for everything in your life.  What choices will you make today?

Try looking at life through the eyes of a person that takes responsibility for everything and see what changes you can make.

 - Michelle

You have been warned... This may get graphic...

Next month it will be the year 2018.  That is the year I will officially turn 45 years old.  I remember when I thought that was SO OLD! A few days ago I had a conversation with a beautiful woman who came to one of my group fitness classes.  She mostly just stood there and observed.  At the end of the class she told me, "Your classes seem really too intense for me.  I will be 50 soon and I think it's time I just faced the fact that I can't do everything I used to be able to do.  I think it's time I settled down and was more gentle now that I am turning 50."

Okay...

She has no idea how old I am.

I see 2 ways to look at this:

1 - Sure, you can be gentle on your body.  I go back and forth.  I choose gentle exercises like Tai Chi or Gentle Yoga occasionally to mix it up.  I recognize the importance of honoring your own limitations as they are today and being careful not to go to crazy extremes just to prove something or keep up with the "young'uns" in class.  I get it.  But I know you can build on from here, no matter what age.

2 - I also get that there are 75 year-old athletes out there outdoing me.  I am reminded of that every time I sign up to run a race.  Not that personal fitness is a contest.  It's not, (for most of us).  But, to determine that there is an age where you just have to "face it" and say, "Nope, that's it!", is crazy.  Unless you have had a serious injury (or other illness that keeps you from moving), as long as you are living, you still have the opportunity to improve your cardiovascular health and strength.   The day you decide that improving your fitness is no longer for you, is the day you begin to deteriorate more quickly and your quality of life diminishes.

I refuse to die before I am dead!

I've decided that when I turn 50, it's going to be my best year ever!

That being said...

I want to be super-real for a minute.  And, we are going to get a little graphic here:

I was talking to a couple of sisters following a Zumba class one night.  They were telling me about how much weight they had lost and that they felt super self-conscious of the amount of leftover skin and stretch marks they had on their bodies. During our conversation, I realized I was old enough to be the mother of the 2 of them.  It's crazy right?

So I decided to show them my belly under the cute yoga pants I wear to hold it all in.

Are you ready for reality?  I'm warning you...  My kids run screaming when I show them this:

I am warning you...

  

Only look if you can stand a "mommy belly"...

Oh yeah, and following a summer of eating badly, too.  I was kind of crazy the summer of 2017 and gained a few pounds.  SO, I have a new starting place.

I mean 6 kids bigger than 9 lbs each.....

Yes, I am a beast.....

Are you really wanting to see the reality under the cute yoga pants that hold it all in?....

You were warned.....

Here it is:

Yup, I gave birth to 6 LARGE babies. Now, granted, I have also been thinner.  This belly is following a summer of eating a ton of garbage and not doing the 40/20 circuit much.  I have recently recommitted to the circuit and to better nutrition.  I am taking myself through the Phazes 12 week transformation challenge as I develop it for YOU.  So, you will see this change.  I just want YOU to know what is possible.  But, yeah, this is the belly of a 44 year old woman in pretty good shape. Maybe not her best shape but, pretty good shape.  I am strong and can handle a hard fitness class and keep up with the kids in class.  But this is my belly.  I do have a goal of going down a bit in my body fat percentage.  But I am in a very healthy range for my age.


Okay,

Now I am going to pull up my yoga pants and take a more flattering photo of my post-6 baby and 44 year old belly following a summer of junk food:

 Wow, amazing transformation.  It looks like I just lost 10 pounds by pulling my pants up.  :)

Suddenly I am a LOT sexier, no?
LOL!

Now you all know my dirty little secret of the belly under the support in my stretchy pants.

No really. I think a lot of us see the glamorous shots of fitness pros that know how to angle a camera and know what clothes to put on.  We don't see the stretch marks.  We don't know the stories.  We don't know the age.

When I tell my clients they are half my age, they choke a little.  They usually don't get the "privilege" of seeing the belly in the photo at the top. They usually don't hear how many babies I have had or that I lost 60 pounds... Yeah... there is some left over skin hanging a bit.  But my body doesn't have to stop just because 50 is coming around the corner or just because I have more of a belly than that OTHER amazing. thin, beautiful instructor that's half my age.  There are some AMAZING ladies coming to my fitness classes that are nearly twice MY age!  They come and do what they can because they KNOW that life is better when you are moving and not concerned about how you measure up to the next person in class.

Quit worrying about how your body compares to someone else's or if you are as fit as the next person in the class.  Just move that body of yours!  It's an amazing gift!  Love it!
Make this coming year YOUR best year!

- Michelle